With all the recent hoo-hah and public outrage over David Hasselhoff (I refuse to use the name the media have shamelessly given him) being tired and emotional in various places recently, I thought I’d write a post to remind you what the great man has done for us, the human race.

Cast your mind back to the late 1980’s; Germany was in turmoil due to Doug Aldrich of Whitesnake’s erection of a wall to commemorate the release of their seminal album, ‘Starkers in Tokyo’. A nation was forced to purchase poor quality leather trousers from the late Pat Morita, who at the time was doubling as a seedy tailor to fund his 50-a-day Curly Wurly habit.
David Hasselhoff, who to this day is allergic to walls, bravely scaled the erection that soft rock built, and proceeded to shatter the foundations with a combination of loud singing and trademark wide-legged sway-dancing. Soon, the wall was nothing but rubble, and Whitesnake (who were alarmed at both the amount of dry ice generated by the power of David’s singing, and the “muscle in his arm”), decided to flee, while Germany rejoiced, awarding David with the enough good quality imported leather to cover his colossal legs (it took 13.5 square miles), and a talking car (the Fully Automatic Responsatory Transmatron), which he promptly renamed. This rest, as they say, is history.

So give a little respect to the man who single-handedly gave Germany back its leather trousers, and stopped Whitesnake from building walls across the rest of Europe. Here’s a recreation of the famous incident in musical form to remind you all what we owe David.